Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Double A

'I wont show my feelings until the feelings has gone'

Honestly I was devastated,
I believe in karma,
What goes around comes around.

I have once hurt someone,
I broke his heart,
So I know that someone will come around and hurt me back
But honestly, I didn't expect it's you.

I believed in you when you said you love me,
So I was starting to pull my heart out for you,
But then I was told those were just empty words.
So there you go, A broken heart.

When you left,
I told everyone I was okay,
You're included
But I lied, of course I did.

I'm living and do things as normal as I could,
But as cliche as it may sound,
It was as if I lost my soul.
Because I didnt feel myself.

I was not where I were,
My mind is always about,
'What did I do you wrong?'
'Among all the people why do you pick me to break?'
'Are you satisfied?'
'Am I pathetic?'
And all kind of questions that I want the answers very bad.

I was very angry and missed you at the same time,
I can't help to check on your facebook and myspace
everytime I sign in, which was everyday,
I need to hold myself back not to call or text you,
which was very hard.

But then enough is enough,
I need to mean it when I say I've move on,
Because you're moved like nothing is wrong.
I need to live my life,
it's time to live in reality,
and leave the fantasies.

It was hard, and I would never want to go through it again,
though I made it through,
It doesnt hurt when I think about you anymore,
I dont wake up or go to sleep or do anything in between thinking about you every second anymore
I dont have to hold myself from calling or texting you anymore,
I dont open your page anymore,
And I dont hope for you to come back anymore.

And truth to be told,
I dont hate you,
but I dont really like you.
It's not bad,
because you did me wrong.

I've accept everything as it is,
You happened to be someone who comes in my life,
and leave after a while,
Well, It's life.

so now the feelings has gone

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sharing life with strangers

Im currently at hospital.
Im spending my holidays here with cumi,
As everyone knows,
She's having an ovarian cancer which she has accepted it as it is.
Same goes for all of us

It's fun hnstly,
The room is full with exciment as cumi is getting married,
She got proposed on the last raya haji by a great guy,
So here, despite everything else,
Eveyday it's about the wedding day.

But once in a while,
I love to take a walk outside,
what I can ensure you,
hospital is nothing like greys anathomy.
There's no flirting or patience running around naked

My favorite place is the emergancy ward,
Sometimes it's a chaos,
The doctors runs here and there,
Nurses are acting like there's a marathon,
While me, I stood there helpless,
Well that's almost everyday.

But the most of the time,
They uses the rest and relax method,
Which then I have to go back to cumi's room
and find the new entertaiment.

Sometimes while I walk around the hospital,
Eating my favourite candy bars that I bought with cumi's money,
(There's 7 eleven across the road)
I hear some stranger cries,
which then brings the human in me,
and I hope with all my heart that their love one is okay.

Right now, Cumi is sleeping right beside me,
Im sitting on the chair beside her bed,
It's 7 minutes to 1 am,
Tomorrow, I want to go check on the new babies,
I want to be among the first to welcome them to earth.
I need to wake up early, so goodnight :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dont drink, you'll get drunk

I was going to get better,
But I cant help to wonder,
Where the hell is Elydia's facebook and myspace?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Naughty Nature

Hahahaha, Im sorry if you feel like puking,
but these are so funny -.-

Awal muharam

For those who know my azam for the new year,
It's already awal muharam,
and Im ready,
Everything will go as I planned


I dont know how stupid I may sound,
but I've always imagine myself wins an award,
or awards,
hahaha, shut up,
not the part where I blush on the stage,
the part where I thank those who helps me through,

But why wait for an award,
which would take forever maybe,
I think I should thank now.

Im going skip my parents because,
I may cry.
hnstly right now Im thinking 'why am I writting this',
But er, sambung je la.

I want to thnk my friends,
Nadia, Ayiesha, Fatihin,
They give me great advices,
Or even time when they don't know what to say,
They'll stand by me,
Never let go of my side,

she may not know whats happening in my life,
my ups and downs,
but thats not a bad thing,
because being with her,
gives me a break.

Er, now what?
well hnstly Im lucky that I have friends that are willing to make ugly faces just to make me laugh,
Though they may not laugh at my jokes,
they dont think its funny,
I think they are just the best person I want to tell my joy,triumph,sorrow and stupid jokes too :)

Thank you
shut up
haha, Im stupid okayy

Saturday, December 12, 2009

How to grow up

You know when we were small,
We look at our sisters or movies,
Young adult or teenages ,
They wear beautiful clothes, hang-out with friends, having (a) boyfriend(s),
We can't wait to be like them,
And somehow they look like just, grown up.

But now that I'm in that age.
It's not like what I thought it would be,
grown up is not the word, confuse is.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm okay, fine, great,
Just, I'm not as wise as I thought I would be,
In fact, I haven't change as much as I thought I would,

I do wear what I wants,
I hang-out with my friends,
I meet a few guys,
But thats not the whole thing about being a 'teen',
It's more about I'm searching me
while being me.
Its quite hard you know,
one day I feel like myself,
and the next I don't.

But I'm not saying it's not fun,
it is :)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Perfect 10

Oh it's scary,
My friends loveeeeeeeeeees to write about the future these days,
And im trying my best to avoid thinking about it,
I have plans, dreams already, yes,
Not that I don't want to grow up, go to collages, be an adult,
But woah, time is fast.
I still wanna be young.

When Im in collages,
locals or overseas,
Would it be the same?
would I still laugh upon stupid jokes?
Or will I still make stupid friends?

High school is great,
You get to meet your friends everyday,
You get to act stupid because you're young,
I'm not ready to close this chapter.

Will I still smile with all my heart everyday?
Will I have someone to turn to?
Will I survive?

My 10 years has been great,
1 year left guys,
I year.
Realize how fast this year runs?

I still want to this girl


Cumi is getting married!!
Oh, I'm so excited,
I'll be busy friends, hee

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Something stinks

The sun is not bright enough today,
Something is wrong,
I know I have to write,
I need to write,

But what would it be about?
Everyone is okay,
I'm fine,
Oh, maybe it's about the raining day

Where have you been?
or what so you want to play?
Haven't you heard,
Hide and seek has gone lame.

Oh wait,
maybe now it's my turn,
and, oh, I love to run,
Stop me if you can.

But Im fine,
or maybe,
Razin is right,
I love to lie.

But it's just a maybe,
Maybe I'm fine,
for real,
so stop telling I'm not,
You'll get me confuse.

Oh, maybe it's not about about the rainy day

Sunday, December 6, 2009

What about you

As almost everyone I know has reread their comments,
I reread mine too,

Teringat la zaman muda dulu,
Seriously kelakar gila,

When I was younger,
Me and my friends called ourselves
mineral girls
*insert drum rolls and ka-ching sound*
Consist of Nadia, Ayiesha, Elydia, and myself.
Sbb mineral girls?
We were suspose to do some presentation during kemahiran hidup,
but we weren't prepare.
So encik fahry suruh kita present ttg apa yg kita ada,
which is mineral water (sbb br lepas rehat)

Elydia: Minum la air mineral, ia boleh membuat kita jd lebih muda
Nadia: Saya suka minum air mineral, harganya 80 posen 1 botol.
Nadira: (dlm botol ada pasir, dtg dari mana tah) Pasir boleh digunakan untuk menanam jenazah
Ayiesha:No I dont want to present, Im not prepare this is not fair.
Semua pun tgh bodoh gila, but Ayiesha mmg garang dari muda.

Anyhow, we thought we are such a gangster,
We weren't scare of anyone,

We called people with such a name,
like 'spongeboobs'and we created ISAB
International Slut Association B..
I cant remember what does B represent,
but we'll put everyone we hate as the members,
and our worst enemy, barbie, as the president.
I know we were so mean.
But we really liked rainbows,
kalau boleh semua nk colour rainbow

Despite all that,
We really care about each other,
If anyone mess with one of us,
Kita balas holiyaw punya.
haha, (geleng kepala, haha)

Sekarang semua dah taubat,
hahahhaha, no lah,
its more like we've grow up.
and now, kita dah tak balas/benci dah,
dah jadi pemaaf, haha.

Sekarang its TBOF,
Ayiesha (the mother, sbb dia garang) Marge
Fatihin (the father, sbb dia suka geleng kepala) Homer
Nadia Bart
Nadira Lisa
Elydia Maggie
There you go The simpsons.
And we still loves each other, :)

Nah, kitorg dah tak jahat dah.
dont be scared, come, have a hug,
haha, ok tak pasal pasal.
Sorry pasal dulu,
but we didn't mess with people that didn't mess with us.
Still sorry,
zaman tak tahu apape.

But I bet you had fun too ;)

Dah berapa tahun tah gambar ni.

Dulu ada rock, peace, ali cafe pun ada

Sekarang dah tak tak ambik gambar kat tandas la.

Tapi still, semua nk bajet hot

haha <3

Saturday, December 5, 2009

can you?

I can never find anything like this anymore.

Have you?

ever experience something so bad,
so dark,
so wrong,
so painful,
so hard,
so bad?

Well it will go away,
it will

Friday, December 4, 2009


I dont know how lame this may sound,
but Im writting it anyway,

I've just found that the only way that I can be happy is when my family and friends are,
I mean, I dont seek for my own happiness anymore,

Not that Im sick of this life or too happy to be true,
or anything in between.

I'm just.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Im just a misguided ghost

I use wrote my heart out,
and then you'll sing it for me,
Told me you love me,
Make me believe in every beat.

I believed in things that adults shouldn't,
happy endings.
The world was bigger than it seems,
There was no different in reality and dreams.

As I gave my heart to you,
I thought you were true,
But damn,
You're just the same,
Playing like it's a game.

Funny that when you walk away,
it rains all day,
As the world gets smaller,
The time flows in a different way.

Insecurities took over,
Am I too ugly?
Am I that bad?
Seems like the magic is not for me.

I didn't know what was the time or day,
or even what to say.

But now I saying,
You were the wrong person,
but you thought me lessons,

Words are just lies,
I wasn't in love with you,
I was in love with the guy I thought you were.

Unfortunedly, you're heartless,
And my love is not you,

For a while, you may make my world
turns the other way round,
and nobody can take me down,

And I have a pretty good life to ignore,
anywys, you're just a chapter not the whole story

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What's the time

He has move on,
What about me?

:) okay