Saturday, August 28, 2010

One day

On my wedding day,
I want my girls to be by my side,
I wanna have 5 pengapit,
haha, Ok, maybe they will not like this idea,
but I would like to see them wear the same dress,
or baju kurung,

In my imagination,
ayiesha will be the one with high heels and looks like she's walking on a runway,
Elydia will make it simple and nice, er, and a little open I have to say,
Nadia, will make it look soft but not girlish,
and Fatihin, will wear it with a pretty tudung and with the warmest smile I've seen,
So that when I walk myself to the pelamin,
I know, besides my husband,
Im also gonna spend my life annoying, laughing and loving them :)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Because you're my friend :)

When I was hurting,
there was nothing that anyone can do to make me feel better,
but honestly posting something for me actually helped.

I've said this so many times,
but you're one of the wises and strongest 17 year old girl I've known.
Seriously, I know you'll through this,
You'll just gonna get some brilliant idea on how to solve this problem,
and when the time comes,
you'll stand tall again.
Im sure you will.

What he did to me was nothing like what he did to you,
So I may not understand the feeling,
you feelings.
but I know that very feeling very well,
the what-the-hell-was-the-hopes-for-? feeling.
but trust me, one day, you'll wake up and realise,
you have a lot more in your life,
your blessing are countless,
you gonna meet a lot more new guys out there,
they may not be the same,
they might not be as good,
but there's a thick chance, they may be better.

I dont have the right to tell you this,
because I think you can consult yourself better than I do,
So let's just take it this way,
There's reasons why Allah wants it to be this way.
And He's the best decider of all the decider.
And fatihin is right on,
we should feel every feeling at least once,

The reason Im posting you this is,
just to remind you,
that I love you,
TBOF loves you,
We're always by your side,
Even if it's you against the world (ok tak psl psl)
and that is one of the greatest blessing of ours.

So push it too hard,
Let it be,
let it lose,
cry all you want,
don't force yourself to move on,
because from what I learn,
It is easier if you work with time and let it heal you.

xoxo baby G

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Im willing to take Add math question a thousand time rather than answering the

It is the hardest so far

I have a huge problem

"I am a pathetic ex-mistress that can't even sleep at night"

I want to tell me friends,
about everything,
but I dont know how,

Because I dont want blame anyone,
Nor I dont want to hurt anyone,
Im pretty sure when I put it in word,
It wont come out the way I want it to.

So as long as I can't,
I'll keep it to myself,
Not that I like it,
It's eating me

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

So true

She's writing my mind,
Im always wish I have fatihin's collection,
Haha, and nadia comics I have to say.

When Im exam free,
I love to follow my mother to work and spend the whole day at kino,
Oh yes, I love bookstore,
Since I couldn't afford to buy storybooks,
I'll just read it for free,

I love getting lost in the story,
and the feeling when I stop reading,
like, eh, I didn't realize this and that.
Like avatar,
my real life is not real.

Oh, when I grow up,
I wanna buy at least 1 book a week.
And have my own library :)

We had our times

Can I have rainbow on a plate?
So I'll be happy everytime I eat?
Hihi, mestilah, all the time baby

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Trust me, she's lying

Face the Fact

No matter how long it take for you to heal,
You know you're the best male friend I've ever have,
And Im always here to talk about your day.

We both know we miss each other.
You know no matter who's my best friend now,
We'll never talk to each other about future as naive as we did,
They could never give me the feeling like what you gave to me,
It's an old comfort good feeling,
hmm :)
I've never really feel that feeling until it's gone.

Things is not the same now,
but the memories remains unchange :)

Im not a big fan of him

Im a big fan of thoughtful people

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I need to take care of me

It is so bright over there,
So there's a thick chance that you can't see what's happening over here,
It is dark anyways.

Im that type of girl you know,
the type of girl who make stupid faces in the mirror just to make myself laugh,
who talks to the birds and trees while walking alone to the LRT station,
Who's not afraid to make stupid jokes and laugh by myself,
Who says hai to everyone in that school.
When I was,
my parents even called me happy child.

But when you let me down,
and make my cry,

You make me hate the crowd,
I have nothing but silent,
It's hard to even smile,
I lay on the floor for hours,
It's like im moving in slow motion and everyone else around me is moving so fast,
Like I have this miserable disease, that will affect everyone around me,
So I prefer to be alone.

I dont know who's that girl,
I dont know how to be her,
I dont like being her.

So it's okay if you dont care about my feelings,
It's okay if you want to laugh so loud while I cry,
It's okay if you choose to go away and search for the fun,
because you can't have it with me,
It's okay, if you call me with names,
take away my self confidence,
or spread rumours about me.

But I have to take care of myself,
my feelings,
my self confidence.
I need to.
I can't have you let me down forever.

I'll just gonna hug myself, even when nobody will.
Im that type of girl you see.

You have the best of me

It's okay if you want to shout at me every night,
Or blame me for every mistakes,
Or laugh with my sisters and ignore me.
Treat me like a maid,
Or any other thing that you feel like doing.
I wont hate you I promise,
I will always love you with all my heart I promise.

But I cant promise that I wont cry,
I have my break point too.

Im just gonna smile and laugh like every other people,
because this pain has effect me for more than 5 years,
so somehow, Im immune to it already,

And from the books and movies,
I know you love me too.
I believe in that,
though you've didn't really show,
I want to believe in that,
That's my way of surviving

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hopes and dreams

If you know me,
then you'll see,
that I dont really hope for a lot of things,
I dont really want a lot of things,
maybe because I've never really get what I want,

Not even on my birthdays.
That's why I hate birthdays,
It give me stupid feeling like I can ask for something.
For me, my birthday is the hardest day in the year.

Anyways, talking hopes,
all I ever really hope is,
having a simple life.

I want a room like this,
small, simple and pretty.
Just like how I want my life to be like

Someday, we'll fly

Promise that we won't look back.

Do you remember those days,
When we were making plans,
so naive and happy,
Excited of the life we're about to face.
Believing in those fairytale,
Dreaming about being a princess.

Let's get back to those moments,
When we believe that the world was beautiful : )

Because at some places,
they are.

You let me down boy.

I've never really blog these days.
It's bcs I really dont want to get down there,
the deepest part of me.
Because I know that Im hurting.

So as long as I dont get to that part,
I'll forget about the pain.
but life have it's own way of reminding me.

Well, honestly, I've loved this one boy,
as much as I could,
more than I should,
Though it has been more than a year,
he still got me wondering,
Do I still love him?

But God is so great,
He made us humans with this ability of surviving,
So after you tore me apart,
cut me open,
broke me to pieces,
I survive.

I dont know how I did,
but I did.
Im still fragile but at least in one piece.
Im living.
Im smiling, laughing,
and eat as much as I could.

I believe that someday,
I'll get immune to this pain.
And it wont hurt anymore.

Because people loves to bring you down

When the tears is about to fall

It's like I have my own guardian that will put the smile back on my face on I seem to have lost it.
Like they will never let me walk alone.

My imaginary gaurdian : )