You have the best of me

It's okay if you want to shout at me every night,
Or blame me for every mistakes,
Or laugh with my sisters and ignore me.
Treat me like a maid,
Or any other thing that you feel like doing.
I wont hate you I promise,
I will always love you with all my heart I promise.

But I cant promise that I wont cry,
I have my break point too.

Im just gonna smile and laugh like every other people,
because this pain has effect me for more than 5 years,
so somehow, Im immune to it already,

And from the books and movies,
I know you love me too.
I believe in that,
though you've didn't really show,
I want to believe in that,
That's my way of surviving

Hopes and dreams

If you know me,

then you'll see,

that I dont really hope for a lot of things,

I dont really want a lot of things,

maybe because I've never really get what I want,

Not even on my birthdays.

That's why I hate birthdays,

It give me stupid feeling like I can ask for something.

For me, my birthday is the hardest day in the year.

Anyways, talking hopes,

all I ever really hope is,

having a simple life.

I want a room like this,

small, simple and pretty.

Just like how I want my life to be like

Someday, we'll fly

Promise that we won't look back.

Do you remember those days,

When we were making plans,

so naive and happy,

Excited of the life we're about to face.

Believing in those fairytale,

Dreaming about being a princess.

Let's get back to those moments,

When we believe that the world was beautiful : )

Because at some places,

they are.

You let me down boy.

I've never really blog these days.

It's bcs I really dont want to get down there,

the deepest part of me.

Because I know that Im hurting.

So as long as I dont get to that part,

I'll forget about the pain.

but life have it's own way of reminding me.

Well, honestly, I've loved this one boy,

as much as I could,

more than I should,

Though it has been more than a year,

he still got me wondering,

Do I still love him?

But God is so great,

He made us humans with this ability of surviving,

So after you tore me apart,

cut me open,

broke me to pieces,

I survive.

I dont know how I did,

but I did.

Im still fragile but at least in one piece.

Im living.

Im smiling, laughing,

and eat as much as I could.

I believe that someday,

I'll get immune to this pain.

And it wont hurt anymore.

Because people loves to bring you down

When the tears is about to fall

It's like I have my own guardian that will put the smile back on my face on I seem to have lost it.

Like they will never let me walk alone.

My imaginary gaurdian : )

Long Way Home

Thursday , 21/7/2010

My eldest sister, Nabilla had this photo of her whole batch taken during her form 5 year. I was so taken by that very photo because I'll always wanted a memory of me and all of my friends in one photo. So I've promise myself that I will try to get a picture my batch, class of 2010, taken too. And I did.

Of course it wasn't me myself. Kar Yan played a big role too. But I when had to sign the letter of asking for the permission to take my class photo form our headmistress, the feeling really hit me ,that I've fulfilled my long time lost dream.

The day itself was really tiring, I had to run around the whole school the whole day, searching for teachers. Then, we had to arranged the student without a plan as we had to change the intial plan last minute. It took us 2 hours to had it done. With teachers complaining, we can't really doing it with a smile. But once the photo is taken, the feeling is beyond imaginations. I was very happy, as I ran to Kar Yan, she was almost in tears.

Azrie told me, that is what the prefect felt every time they planned for hari guru or hari kebangsaan. During the process, it was so tiring. But then, as the celebration finished, the feeling is like no other. That's the reason they do it, they dont get paid for they effort, they want to feel that amazing feeling. Like they're important and worth it. That was what I felt.

Later on yesterday, I was going to have my tuition class at Fatihin's. So I was going back with her, that was the intial plan. But teacher told me I have to stay back and finish the school magazine work. Dealing with responsibility, I told fatihin that I'll go to her house by myself. Though I dont really know how to get there. But, too bad for me, there was no work, everyone else when home early. So I was left at school to deal with anger and confusion.

I called my mother, she told me to get a bus to KLCC. So she could send me to fatihin's. I did as she ask. Wearing my school uniform, and my pink school bag, I took the train and bus to KLCC. Then I walk myself to my mother's office. When to the reception to use their phone. To make thing worse, I was extremely hungry.

To see my mother was a gladful feeling. I dont feel like a lost puppy anymore. She bought me some food. And send me to fatihin's. It is a very long weird day.

And funny how I press ayiesha's number without noticing after calling my mother. Maybe I was use with calling her when Im feeling lost :)

Happy Potter

I use to lioke this book, but seriously, no matter how much E! try tell my the movie is amazing, I think it sucks. Hehe, well, it's me. But if I were to chose, I definitely choose TEAMEDWARD!!

Well the obvious reason is because I wants Jacob Black. ANd the other reason is, I think Bella and Jacob makes a better friend than couple.
These movies and books are waaaaaaaaaaaay better than Twilight.

And I still can't choose either Fred and Sirius.

Have you watch Avatar?

Hah, the feeling like you belong to that imaginary world,

that is what I felt when I reading this book, Happy Potter.

Like Happy Potter is my main life and the on Im living is my second :)

Good job J.K. Rowling,

You're my favourite author of all time,

you too Cecilia Ahern :)