Walking to the past

Hari ni habis kerja pukul 6,
But mama was working extra hours,
so I decided to wait for her.

Have you ever let you legs lead the way?
after sending my friends to the bus station,
I had no direction at all,
but I know I wanted to walk,
So I walked, walked, walked.

For all I know,
I was right in front of KLCC park mosque,
I was amazed by it's beauty, cantik nak matii,
lagi bila maghrib, awan warna romantik.
Rasa mcm heaven on earth.
Pastu tgk jam menara maxis,
7.26, hmm, excited gila nak try sembahyg kat masjid, heaven on earth ni.

Lama gila dah tak sembahyang jemaah,
teringat bula puasa, terawih.
Haih, normal lah org skrg,
nak tunggu ramadan baru nak pergi surau.
haish, rasa bersalahhh.

Nywys, I actually wanted to blog about teenagers,
atau lebih mudah 'budak-budak baru nak up'

It's Wednesday,
and it's school holiday,
It has been a very old-kl-tradition for teenagers to 'turun kl' on days like today.
So, during my lunch time or after my working hours,
bersepah gangs, group, clicks, whatever you call yourself around kl,
and the fact that my office is beside pavilion is not helping//

I can't really remember what I was thinking when I was at their age,
So I can't really understand why are they behaving that way.

After maghrib, I spend my time wondering around KLCC park,
Bila matahari turun,
dalam taman indah,
banyak lah kumbang cari bunga.
hahaha, okay, not fani,

I mean,
do you really have to show all of that, or those?
do you really, really, really, need to do that in public?
do you think you're whole life people will be saying,
'weh cool gila doh kau smoke!'
'Gila aa weh, nmpk mcm kau tak pakai seluar doh, hot gilaa!'
' 'pant*t, p*kimak, m*ther f, sh*t' cool en aku mencarut in public?'
hahaha

My point is, kids,
Right now you're at the age where you're adapting with the culture around you,
trying to be known (popular aa senang citaa)
trying to be different,
trying to search for who you really are.

I can understand the fact that at your age you can be super lame, hahaha,
but please dont be stupid :)

Please learn the thin line between being hot and cheap,
Trust me, you have a long way to go,
Plus, you can't, like, use up all of your weapon in just one battle?
;P

square 3

This time, I'm writing about me and myself.

I got my driving licence already,
Alhamdulillah.

I'm still by myself,
Single, in another word.

I won't lie,
There are times when I feel alone, lonely.
Envy my happy friends.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm happy for them, as happy as a friend can be,

I end up mixing up mu feelins,
I force myself to believe that I'm in love with some guy I just get know.
But along the way I realise,

I prefer to be by myself.
Im just so scared to fall in love again,
So for now, I'm not ready to be in a relationship
For now, please try again next week,
hahaha

Square 2

Now, I would like to write about my work,

I got a job at IDC last january,

It is a good, nice job.

I love it because of the people,

they are all very friendly people,

We have about 7 malaysian,

10 philipines,

and 5 indonesian.

I really love them all,

My work itself is very stressful,

it can be very boring at times,

but I just can stop because I love going to KL everday,

I love to variety choices of place that I can choose to go for lunch,

I love the working culture.

And most important reason,

working has made my relationship with my mother grew closer.

Some picture of mah working place yo

Square 1

Im gonna start with Cumi,

My cumi, Romieza Osman died on 29th january 2011,

11.25 a.m. at subang medical center.

Al-fatihah

I just love the way she can smile all the way till the end,

I can't never forget our final goodbye,

I am very lucky and grateful that we had that goodbye,

I had to chance to asked for her forgiveness and tell her that I love her,

and I will never forget the way she said,

'Dikra, kalau lepas ni, kita tak jumpa lagi dah, tapaa, nanti kita jumpa balik :)'

Everything went very smooth,

We send her back to kelantan,

to place her there, just as she wanted.

Im so happy that I get to know her,

With no doubt,

she makes me a better person.

Im so proud be to her niece.

Im back

I did some thinking late, should I delete this blog, since I dnt really have time for blogging anymore,

But, hmm, I decide to just keep it,

with or without readers :)

My guess

I guess what I was trying to say in my previous post is,

For a girl,

she starts to imagine stuff,

think about stuff that is not real,

But end up being sad, happy, hopeful or mad about those stuf.

For an example,

when she start to know a guy,

She start to judge to every little things the boy does,

and jump into conclusion what type of guy the boy is.

The problem is,

You need longer than a week, a month or a year, to know someone.

And for me,

everybody is different.

There is not 'type'

Im just saying

First thing first, let me make it clear,

I am not being emotional,

I am being thoughtful and sensitive.

You know how the silent midnight air can shout the truth to you?

Well, it's 12.45 in the morning my dear readers.

I love to write, I really love to write.

And it doesn't bother if nobody is reading.

because writing my my way to understand and to gather my thoughts, opinions and feelings.

I am a girl.

Like any other girls, I tend to over think, over react, and over emotional.

But thanks to that,

we are able to fall in love with the stupidest boy alive.

I dont know what about the other girls,

but once Im in love or even have a crush on someone,

I tend to live in my imagination and fantasy world.

The world where the boy is perfect,

where you're able to make so many excuses for the boy's mistakes,

believing that he is what you think he is,

instead of what what he actually is.

Believing that he'll treat you right,

love you right.

Even if he has a heart like a devil,

It that world, I'll believe that he never meant to hurt me.

I'll give him a lot of new chances,

bcs in my imagination, we are happy together.

If and only if we are able to live in that world forever than pain wont found us,

because what really hurt is when we start to see the doors to reality,

When we realise, the boy chose to hurt us,

played with our feelings because it wont hurt him if we are hur

ting.

The excuses we've made for him is a waste of time,

The chances was a vain.

And what I hate the most is to realize,

that the boy is not the boy I thought he is.

It for me is among the most painful truth.

Once we chose to stop believing our imagination and fantasy,

We start to realize what a fool we were.

and just how we should protect ourselves more instead of protecting the relationship this is not real.

We force ourselves to move on, try to defeat time.

we should have take it easy, one step at the time, work with time.

And to move on is not about forgetting everything,

it's about having the past that doesn't effect us anymore.

but again we over think, over react and being over emotional.

And for me,

You'll get the best view of situation, when you are not in the situation.

Listen to what others have to say, and stop making excuse for the boy.

But most importantly, listen to you heart,

because it will tell you when will enough be enough.

Im just saying,

Every girl hope for a boy to fall in love with,

to laugh with, to trust too.

To feel safe with, to have a deep conversation with.

To have nice happy ending with.

But most of the time,

it only happens in our head.

but we'll survive.

Believe in Allah,

Belive that He knows what's the best for us :)

A women's heart is like a deep ocean