How to grow up

You know when we were small,
We look at our sisters or movies,
Young adult or teenages ,
They wear beautiful clothes, hang-out with friends, having (a) boyfriend(s),
We can't wait to be like them,
And somehow they look like just, grown up.

But now that I'm in that age.
It's not like what I thought it would be,
grown up is not the word, confuse is.
Don't get me wrong,
I'm okay, fine, great,
Just, I'm not as wise as I thought I would be,
In fact, I haven't change as much as I thought I would,

I do wear what I wants,
I hang-out with my friends,
I meet a few guys,
But thats not the whole thing about being a 'teen',
It's more about I'm searching me
while being me.
Its quite hard you know,
one day I feel like myself,
and the next I don't.

But I'm not saying it's not fun,
it is :)